Yes! Either of you,as joint owners of your marital home, is entitled to prevent 'unwelcome guests' from entering real estate you own together,including the apartment. 'Welcome guests' have permission or 'licence' to be on your property, and that must be given by each of you, as joint owners. As your joint ownership relates to the whole property,both of you must consent to and permit someone to be a guest. For you, your wife's children are 'unwanted guests' and 'trespassers', while for her they are 'welcome guests' with a licence to be there.
In this situation, your interest and right to prevent an 'unwelcome guest', who is 'thrust upon' you,from entering your home takes precedence over your wife's right to allow someone to enter. Only mutual agreement can really ease the situation. While legal action can be used here to enforce your rights, this could backfire and aggravate the delicate relationship with your wife.